Purpose

"It's that little flame, that lights a fire under your ass..."

I never really realized exactly how true that is until a couple days ago.
I realized that I really need a purpose for everything. Even this blog.

This blog doesn't have a purpose--wait no. I shouldn't say that.

Its purpose is for me to be able to say what's on my mind that I wouldn't be able to say in front of people I know.

EVERYTHING has a purpose behind it. "No reason" isn't a good answer. I've realized that over the past few days.

Why am I doing my homework? Because I want good grades. Why am I reading Looking for Alaska? Because I heard about it from the Vlogbrothers. Why do I want to be a nerdfighter so bad? Because they are just made of awesome. But I can't decide what kind of nerdfighter to be. I can't figure out what my nerdiness is.

Which brings me to my second point.

I don't know what I want to do with. I've been in autopilot of "Plan to be an engineer" for so long I don't even know what I originally wanted to do.

Also maybe engineering isn't what I REALLY want to do. Oh dear.

I wish I could ask my sixth-grade self what I want to be. Cause that's when I probably knew better than I do now.

I'm a senior in high school! I need to figure these things out graaagh.

But, this year is already shaping up to be better than last year.

So, I hope this will turn out well.